Raising autistic child shown to be 'Day After Day' challenge Play about families with autistic children to be shown in Woodbridge BY KATHY CHANG Staff Writer Gary Weitzen, of Brick, said he was just beside himself when he first saw the musical play "Day After Day," which focuses on the trials and joys of raising a child with autism. PHOTOS BY DAVID BEALES Left: Kayla Caffrey and Mark Salerno play a wife and husband whose relationship is strained by the fact that their autistic daughter, played by Kendall Weitzen, does not speak, in the musical "Day after Day" at Veterans Memorial Middle School, Brick, on Feb. 29. Above: Ray Marzarella portrays a father who struggles with the difficulties of communicating with his autistic son, Troy." "I cried like a little boy," said Weitzen, whose oldest son Christopher, 13, was diagnosed with autism when he was 3. "The play runs 90 minutes without any intermissions because it's filled with such raw emotion … it's like a domino effect." Weitzen, who has been the president of Parents of Autistic Children [POAC], a nonprofit organization based in Brick, which provides scientifically based training to parents, teachers, emergency-care providers and loved ones of autistic children throughout the area, for three years, said the POAC board of directors decided to commission the play in 2004. POAC was formed in 1999. Bob Lanzieri, then president of POAC, and Dawn Marzarella, vice president, approached then-18-year-old StevenAllen, of Brick, a writer and composer, and told him of their journeys of raising a child with autism. "I tried to absorb as much as I could about autism," saidAllen, now 23, who was not that familiar with the disorder at the time. "The play follows a story of three families, and each story is true. The play obviously doesn't show every aspect of autism, since there is such a wide spectrum." In 2004, Allen had ended the run of his second rock opera, the semi-autobiographical "Seventeen," and was deciding to give his theater projects a break and focus on other avenues like his new recording studio business, Steven Allen Music, until he got a phone call from Lanzieri and Marzarella. Allen said the "Day After Day" play was out of the ordinary from his other two productions. Genevieve Hoeler and Matthew Weitzen (seated) portray a mother and son trying to celebrate the new year while surrounded by the phantoms of autism, played by Allison Laine (l-r), Laura McWeeney and Jack McWeeney). "My plays would border on comedy … this was something opposite," he said. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention Web site, autism is one of a group of disorders known as autism spectrum disorders [ASDs]. They are developmental disabilities that cause substantial impairments in social interaction and communication and the presence of unusual behaviors and interests. In New Jersey, one in every 94 children is diagnosed with autism. "The state has the highest rate of children being diagnosed with autism,' said Weitzen. "More children are diagnosed with autism than withAIDS, diabetes and cancer combined." Allen said he was a little nervous when he first put his play before the public. "I'm usually not a nervous person, but I felt that I had these people's lives in my hands," said Allen. "When I first started writing the play, I would run my ideas with Dawn Marzarella [whose two sons are diagnosed with autism] and ask, 'Can I say this?' and 'Will this offend anybody if I put this in?' " However, after eight shows around the tristate area in 2004, the public responded positively to the play, which built Allen's confidence in putting his play out for the second time this year. "Gary came to me and said he wanted to bring the play back," said Allen, who said people have been talking about the play since it debuted in 2004. "Now we are back with a totally new cast and some new songs.We are a full-blown rock opera." The play will be presented for the first time in Woodbridge Township, at 2 p.m. March 29 at the Woodbridge High School, 25 Samuel Lupo Place. "I am so excited to see the play," said Victoria Irizarry-Romanienko, whose son Preston, 8, has autism. "We live it every day." In September 2007, the Woodbridge School District brought in POAC to offer six free training sessions for teachers, school staff and parents. "It was wonderful to see the large number of staff attend the training sessions," said Irizarry-Romanienko, who attended every session. "I came across the POAC Web site when I was researching organizations years ago. I would frequently check their Web site and also donate to them over the years because I thought they were a great organization." Irizarry-Romanienko said that in one of the training sessions, they suggested making a schedule, which she started making after the training session every day including the weekends. "I had tried a schedule a few years ago when Preston was 5, but he was either not ready or I was not doing it right," she said. Irizarry-Romanienko said Preston, like any child, would delay doing his homework. "I broke down a schedule between 4 to 8 p.m. in half-hour segments of homework time, Lego time, extra homework time, play time, etc., and asked him what he would like to do during the different segments first," she said. "I was so amazed that when I gave him the list of choices, that he chose to do homework first. It took that anxiety away of trying to get Preston to do his homework." Irizarry-Romanienko added that in one of the training sessions involving social behaviors, she took the suggestion of using commands without negative words. "Rather than saying, "Don't jump on the couch," we would say "Off couch," and it has worked," she said. "It's very interesting that the modification of words could change behavior." Lauren Suske, of Colonia, who has 6- year-old twins, Richie and Victoria, diagnosed with autism, said she made sure she attended all six free training POAC sessions. "Even though it might seem redundant, we always learn something new," she said. "Both my children go to school out of the district, but I feel that it is important to stay involved, that's why I am involved with PACE [the township's indistrict extended school-year Program for Advancement of Children's Education]." Suske said the suggestion of a schedule has been helpful when she has to go away for a weekend. "I used to have to write word for word everything that needed to be done, but the schedule is easy to read whether it be formy husband,mymother-in-law, or even a babysitter," she said. Suske, who quit her job as a teacher to take care of her children full time, said she never saw autism in her book. "We all have a book that we live by… my children's steps in life are stuck in my memory because every step they take is a great accomplishment … it's a life lesson for them," she said. "My biggest goal is to raise my children so they can be productive members of society … I just want the best for them." Suske, who has attended POAC's annual summer carnival in the past, said she is looking forward to the play. "Some don't understand what autism is and what we go through in our lives day to day, and I'm thankful that someone thought of producing a play about our lives," she said. The play's central characters are Amy, Jack and Troy, three children with different functional levels, none of whom know each other. The show offers a glimpse into the hardships autistic families have, such as jealous children competing for parental attention, or the frustration of teaching an autistic child something as simple as what a cookie is. Allen has extended the play to involve topics of divorce, the other children, and the father role. "My daughter Kendall, 10, and my son Matthew, 12, are typical kids," said Weitzen. "The song "The Other Three Kids" really hit home because a lot of birthdays and holidays are missed because you're spending so much time and effort on one child just to get him or her to talk … a lot of sacrifices are made." Kendall and Matthew star as Amy and Jack in the play, who are two of the three autistic children in the play. The two said portraying a child with autism wasn't too difficult. "They have insights from their brother," saidWeitzen, who said Kendall and Matthew have been wonderful and supportive of their brother Christopher. "When Kendall was 5, she told my wife Ellen and I not to worry about Chris because she would take care of him," saidWeitzen, which brought tears to his eyes. "We never sat down with her and talked about that." Marzarella, who has three children, two diagnosed with autism, said she was taken aback when she saw the extended play for the first time on Feb. 24 at the Veterans Memorial Middle School in Brick. "I heard 'My Mom' on the CD, [which is a typical daughter reaching out to her mom] and I didn't cry," she said. "I thought this is good, but when I saw it on stage, I couldn't control myself." Marzarella said the play has been eye-opening to her relatives. "I had aunts and uncles come up to me and say, 'Wow, I didn't know how it really was,' " she said. Weitzen said the POAC organization is a combination of training and family activities. "All activities involve the whole family," he said. Allen said he expects to keep running the play and plans tomake a soundtrack of the musical. Tickets for the "Day After Day" play are $15, and $12.50 for POAC members. In addition the the March 29 show at Woodbridge High School, the play will also be held at the JCC in Cherry Hill at 7:30 p.m. March 8; School No. 3 in Clifton at 3 p.m. March 9; the Robert Van Fossan Theatre at Bloomfield University at 4:30 p.m. March 22; the Churchill Jr. High School in East Brunswick at 3 p.m. March 30, and at the Two River Theater in Red Bank at 7:30 p.m. April 19. Tickets for the Bloomfield University and the Red Bank shows are $20 for non-POAC members and $15 for members. Tickets for the Red Bank show can only be purchased through their box office at (732) 345-1400. For more information visit www.poac.net.