Curbing domestic violence is a community effort Volunteers witnesses harrowing sights, inspiring gains BY KATHY CHANG Staff Writer PHOTOS BY CHRIS KELLY staff Amy Smith, Morris Township, and Betsy Mullan, Highlands, with 19-month-old Robert Smith participate in the 5K Walk to End Domestic Violence held at the Alvin P. Williams Park in Sewaren on Oct. 6. The walk was organized by the Woodbridge Township Domestic Violence Response Team. WOODBRIDGE - When Linda Squillace joined the township Domestic Violence Response Team in 1993, she didn't fully understand why people would stay in a domestic violence relationship. "After 40 hours of training and my first few cases, I understood why right away," said Squillace, who is the coordinator of the team. "The training just shows you how these [women and men] get deeper and deeper into the relationship. It is very eye-opening." Squillace said some victims don't even know they are in a domestic violence relationship." "They will read the domestic violence cycle of power and control and say 'That's me,' " she said. "Sometimes the man [or woman] will tell their partner that they are not allowed to have friends, and not allowed to see their family. That's isolation, and they don't even realize that they are in a domestic violence situation. They think that they are the horrible person, but it's really [their partner]." Metuchen's Dawn Cammarano and Iselin's Shay Pagare participate in the 5K Walk to End Domestic Violence. June Wolff, who joined the team in October 2006, said that when she went through training, she didn't believe some of the stories that were told. "But when you sit down and talk to a person who is going through the same scenario you heard in training, it makes it real," she said. "Sometimes there is no alternative for these women and no place for them to go." Wolff said she decided to join the team when she saw a sign outside the Avenel Fire Department to join the Domestic Violence Response Team. "In all honesty, it touched my heart," she said. The 45 members of the Domestic Violence Response Team joined the public for the first 5K Walk to End Domestic Violence, held in the township at the Alvin P. Williams Memorial Park in Sewaren on Oct. 6. "This is the biggest event we have held so far," said Squillace. "We also do many community education events such as talking to students at the schools on domestic violence, teen dating, and bullying." Team members said it's important to educate people about domestic violence when they are young. "There is that competition to be popular and peer pressure as teenagers," said Squillace. "They need to know that there is something better." Squillace said statistics show that boys who grow up in a violent home are 50 percent more likely to become abusers than boys who are not exposed to violence. The team also holds various fundraisers throughout the year. State statistics show that domestic violence will affect one of four women in their lifetimes. In 2005, the state domestic violence hotline received 1,470 crisis and 1,843 noncrisis calls in Middlesex County. Woodbridge Township had 980 domestic violence cases this past year, and the Domestic Violence Response Team helped in 400 of the 980 cases. Since the team's inception in 1993, its members have offered assistance to thousands of victims of domestic violence and made many strides in educating their community. The team works with the Woodbridge Police Department to provide the best possible support and assistance to each and every victim, regardless of race, religion or gender. Police Capt. Margaret Schmidt, Sgt. Laurie Maloney and Officer Frank Salsano are liaisons to the Domestic Violence Response Team. "The police officers call us and we come into headquarters," said Squillace. "We are a shoulder to cry on and for victims to tell us their stories. We provide them with resources and, if needed, we help them to acquire a temporary restraining order." Team members said the situations of people who come into headquarters involve spouses, boyfriends and girlfriends, and mothers and sons. "We see many forms of relationships," said Louise Ragusa, who joined the team in 1994 and is secretary for the team. "The majority of these victims are women, but we have seen males." All information is confidential. The 45 members - 44 women and one male - of the team works on a 12-hour shift, 6 a.m. to 6 p.m. and 6 p.m. to 6 a.m. "We are all volunteers and we are there 24 hours a day, seven days a week, 365 days a year," said Belinda Kerchner, who joined the team in 1994 and is assistant coordinator for the team. "I was called on Thanksgiving Day once. I'm about to hit the pillow and the phone rings." Squillace said it's hard to have volunteers during the day because most of the members work full time. Wolff added that you just throw clothes on, put your hair in a ponytail and head to headquarters. "They don't care what you look like," she said. "Some of the victims are in their pajamas." Squillace added that one of their members comes in with her slippers. Kerchner said the hardest cases that the team has to deal with are probably the situations that involve children. "We provide the children with coloring books, toys and snacks," she said. "Sometimes situations occur and they have to leave the house in the middle of dinner." Members said there is no time limit when they are called to headquarters. "We could be in there for an hour or stay there for six to seven hours," said Kerchner. Ronnie "Murphy" Welch, 70, who joined the team in 2001 and was in a domestic violence relationship for 42 years, said the township is blessed to have a domestic violence team and the police department. "Nobody should be abused and nobody should abuse anyone," she said. "I want to think I make a difference by being on this team. It's important to break the cycle. I only wish I was younger to give the team many more years." People who are interested in joining the team can call (732) 634-4500, ext. 2812. Membership requires 40 hours of training, which is provided by members of the team.