NJ expo ctr. hosts state's first gay wedding expo For same-sex couples, expo offered comfortable place to plan ceremony BY TOM CAIAZZA Staff Writer EDISON - When Jimmy Nieves tied the knot last August, planning the wedding was a piecemeal effort done through magazines and the Internet. But now, with the blessing of the New Jersey Supreme Court and the state Legislature, others like Jimmy can plan the wedding of their dreams, a gay wedding, at an expo all their own. New Jersey's first Gay & Lesbian Wedding Expo was held at the New Jersey Convention and Exposition Center in Edison on March 21. The event, which attracted wedding industry vendors from throughout the state, is the first to cater specifically to the gay and lesbian community. It was a facet of the wedding industry that GLweddings.com owner Rich Drozd said was often not available to same-sex couples. "At regular bridal shows gay and lesbian couples don't come out," Drodz said. "They don't know how people will react. Here they know." The expo showcased everything a couple would need, straight or otherwise, to plan their wedding, from photographers, caterers and disc jockeys to limos, bands and travel agents. The difference is not in what is offered, but what is not - judgment. "I feel more comfortable knowing the vendors are here for us," said Nicole Seifert, who is in the early stages of planning a wedding with her partner, Tina Caputo. "Everybody's here for this purpose, so you know they're cool." Drozd and his wife, Lisa, are the owners of American Bride, a company that coordinates wedding expos throughout the state. Rich Drozd said that when the ruling came down from the Supreme Court in October to afford same-sex couples the same marital rights as straight couples, though it balked at calling it marriage, he was approached by vendors to hold an expo for the gay community. "With the new laws," Rich Drozd said, "everybody just jumped on it. It's historic - we're gay friendly and we're open to this." Lisa Drozd said that the support from the wedding industry has been overwhelming. She said that the vendors at this expo were the same quality vendors that are at other wedding expos. It's a form of equality in business that she thinks could spread throughout the state. "Every major wedding business in the state has come out here to support this event," Lisa Drozd said. "New Jersey is ready for this." Lisa Drozd's hope for tolerance in the industry has already begun to take root, according to Nieves. Nieves and his partner, Michael Cioffi, were first given a domestic partnership and later a civil union. They held their ceremony in August and said that even by then, there was a level of tolerance for them. Nieves said that there was no backlash to the new laws among the wedding industry; if anything, things have gotten more tolerant, though he sees no negative differences. *** That is not to say that there are not still problems for same-sex couples. Dyan Parker, a wedding officiant and therapist who works with couples to prepare them for married life, and then officiates the ceremony, said that for many same-sex couples she has worked with who have been together for a long period of time, there is still a level of naiveté. Parker said that these couples often feel that since they have been together for so long, a commitment like marriage or civil union is going to be easier for them than others. "The most important thing I see with gay couples who have been together for like 15 years is they think things will go smoothly," Parker said. "Then they get broadsided." Although, like any commitment, there are stresses and hardships, Parker feels that the wedding expo represents an opportunity long denied to same-sex couples - a chance to have the life they desire. "This is an opportunity for people to begin to live their dreams, to live their expectations and to live their desires," Parker said. The Civil Union Act allows for equal legal standing for same-sex couples in New Jersey as it does for their straight counterparts. However, according to Mike Canarick, an estate planner with the law firm Canarick and Canarick, there are still issues facing same-sex couples that are not a problem for straight couples. According to Canarick, while the state of New Jersey allows for what is known as the unlimited marital deduction, a chance for couples to pass assets from spouse to spouse tax free, the federal government does not afford same-sex couples that right. Canarick, one of the exhibitors at the expo, said that same-sex couples are taxed on their assets when passed from a decedent to the spouse and subsequently from parent to child, more than straight couples because the federal government does not allow for those assets to be deducted tax free. *** Despite the problems same-sex couples still face, Jimmy Nieves said that the Gay & Lesbian Wedding Expo did more than just help people looking to plan a wedding do it more efficiently and comfortably. He thought it would light a fire under those same-sex couples floundering on whether to take the leap into commitment that he took. "I'm glad this is out there," Nieves said. "Now there is no excuse." If he had it all to do over, Nieves said he would have planned his wedding there, because it "ties us to the way that we should all love." Not to mention, for Nieves, planning a wedding is a good time in itself. "As a gay man, planning a wedding is amazing," Nieves said. "I would think this is any gay man's dream."